And Then?
by SolarFire2
Summary: My tribute to The Metal Cowboy. Featuring his favorite couple!


And Then?  
  
Disclaimer: Ranma ½ doesn't belong to me.  
  
Note: This fic is both a 'continuation' and tribute to one of my favorite FF.Net authours; none other than the Metal Cowboy. If you really wanna 'get' this story, you should read his work titled "What Does Mine Say?" It's also a quasi-answer to a challenge he made.  
  
And so, without further ado… Here we go.  
  
  
  
  
  
There was an interesting quality to alcohol. Once your hangover abated, you were left feeling.. Empty. Both Ranma and Ryoga put their hands over their stomachs as the growled in unison, and then glanced at each other.  
  
Ranma looked almost thoughtful, "Ryoga, I'm kinda hungry. Wanna go get something to eat?"  
  
Ryoga nodded his head as well, "Excellent idea, Ranma. What should we have?"  
  
Both boys looked to their left, and were greeted with a familiar sign. 'Cat Café.' Ryoga and Ranma both looked at each other, and grinned, voicing their choice simultaneously, "Chinese!" Thus they grinned at their mutual selection, and boldly stepped within the place.  
  
They both knew the routine, and simply took a seat. Ranma knew what he wanted but Ryoga took up a menu and started rather intently perusing it, occasionally nodding his head, and occasionally shaking his head. Ranma smirked. Sometimes Ryoga took his eating –way- too seriously. And hey.. Where-  
  
Shampoo acted almost on cue, standing next to Ranma and beaming, "Welcome to cat café! You ready to order?"  
  
Ranma nodded, "Yeah. I'll have the biggest bowl of ramen ya got, Shampoo." Ranma smiled, his mouth nearly watering in anticipation.  
  
Shampoo nodded at wrote it down on a small pad, turning away from Ranma.  
  
Ranma blinked. That was it? Just a nod? Ranma subtly turned his head and took a few sniffs. No, it wasn't that. He was, however, further boggled when Shampoo leaned –very far over the table until she was very close to him. Ranma was familiar with such things, and mentally hoped Ryoga wouldn't take a glance at what she was calling attention to. He didn't want Ryoga to get blood over their nice new clothes.  
  
"Ryoga ready?" Shampoo nearly purred to the lost boy, who was still intent on his menu. Ranma, however, was doing a good impression of an owl with how large his eyes went. What in the WOLD was happening?  
  
Don't ask Ryoga, however. He finally nodded, and spoke once more, "Uhh.. I'll have.. Beef Lo Mien.. Stir-fried vegetables… Hmm…"  
  
Shampoo smiled seductively, "And then…?"  
  
Ryoga grunted faintly, "Hold on, I'm still deciding.. Umm… Yeah. And an order of chicken dim-sun, please." Ryoga looked up at Shampoo and smiled obliviously.  
  
Shampoo leaned just a little bit closer, now most definitely inside Ryoga's personal space, once more she spoke in that purring voice, her eyes half- lidded and glittering suggestively, "And then?" She cooed.  
  
Ryoga blinked.. And then it dawned on him, "Ohhhh.. Water!" He smiled at Shampoo. He had hoped that she'd leave by now and go relay the order. He was hungry!  
  
Shampoo lost her composure for a split-second. Ranma noticed one hand on the table form a fist, but she quickly went back to her routine. Ranma wondered if he'd entered some kind of twilight zone.  
  
"And then?"  
  
"Uhh.. No, no that's all, Shampoo. You can go.."  
  
"And then?"  
  
"And thennn… Bring us our food?" Ryoga's patience was growing slightly thin. What was –wrong- with this girl? He wanted his food!  
  
"And then?" Shampoo was laying it on rather thick.. What was –wrong- with this boy? Even Ranma would be putty in her hands by now!  
  
"And then we eat!"  
  
"And then?"  
  
"And then we pay! And THEN we leave!"  
  
"And then?" Shampoo's patience by now was near its breaking point. This was positively insulting, his lack of interest!  
  
Ranma, in the meantime, edged away from this conversation, he could see how annoyed both of them were getting, and that couldn't be good. Ryoga wouldn't do anything against Shampoo, but Shampoo was another matter. And Ranma didn't want to be caught in the middle of it.  
  
An aggravated huff drew Ranma's attention. There was Cologne, with one hand on her forehead and looking like she simply could not believe what she was seeing. Ranma scooted his chair over to sit by her, "Um, Cologne… What in the world is going on? And –why- is Shampoo being so.. Ah.. Friendly with Ryoga?"  
  
Cologne glanced over at Ranma and raised an eyebrow, "You mean you don't remember? I suppose that figures. You two were shamefully drunk last night.. Dare I say, 'really wasted.' As some others have called you."  
  
Ranma sighed, "Alright.. So tell me. What happened?"  
  
Cologne turned away from the argument, which was ever growing.  
  
"And THEN?!"  
  
"NO 'AND THEN'!!"  
  
Cologne shook her head, "Well.. Near closing time last night you two came blustering in here like a couple of drunken buffoons. You demanded all the sake we had. At first, I was inclined to turn you down. It would seem you two had already had enough. But with all that money you were so brazenly waving about, the merchant in me simply couldn't resist."  
  
Ranma blinked. Just where –had- all that money come from? No matter, "So what happened then?"  
  
Cologne smiled faintly, "Well.. You two were getting a little too loud and obnoxious, so I had my great-granddaughter to ask you to leave. You less- than-politely refused. Ryoga over there the most vehemently. It was at this point that Shampoo decided to remove you by force."  
  
Ranma could see the pieces falling into place, "Oh NO…"  
  
Cologne nodded, "Oh yes. You, Ranma, took little more than a good shoving. Ryoga however, refused to budge. And so Shampoo attacked. She didn't realize at the time that his natural stamina, combined with the anesthetic of the alcohol, made her blows most ineffective."  
  
Ranma nodded. He couldn't believe where this was going.  
  
Cologne continued, "And so, she attacked him for about half an hour with everything she had. He didn't even waver. Finally she was so depleted from her attacks, that when he finally noticed her, he reached out and tapped her head to get her attention. She fell, and took quite a while to regain consciousness."  
  
"So. Ryoga defeated Shampoo in combat?"  
  
Cologne nodded, "That he did." She looked over at the new happy couple, who were now both on their feet and screaming at each other, "He may not be as promising as you, Ranma.. But he has determination, and is rather quick and willing to learn. Not a bad catch, I must say." She smiled, but then shook her head, "He doesn't seem particularly bright, however… Does he have no libido at all?"  
  
Ranma smirked, "It's not that. He's just hungry. You should no by now that when we have food on our minds, it's kinda hard to get us to think about anything else."  
  
A light seemed to go on above Colognes head, "Oh.. Of course." How could she have forgotten that?  
  
A loud crash directed both of them back to the table where Ryoga and Shampoo had been. They were greeted by the sight of Shampoo storming off. Her arms were stiffly at her sides and her fingers clenched into fists. She muttered a few Chinese curses under her breath as she made her way back to the kitchen.  
  
Turning away from her, Ranma looked back at Ryoga. He was imbedded in the table with a few wooden scraps that had at one point been a chair. His hands were up and twitched slightly, some smoke emanating from him for an unknown reason.  
  
Ranma smirked and walked over to Ryoga, grabbing his hair and peeling his face from the table. Ryoga murmured something as he was lifted. Ranma leaned in closer, "What was that?"  
  
"Ranma… How does okonomiyaki sound to you? I suddenly lost my appetite for Chinese."  
  
Ranma nodded and dragged Ryoga too his feet, placing one of his friend's shoulders over his own and leading him out, "Sounds like a plan to me."  
  
  
  
Das Ende  
  
  
  
Notes: I had recently re-read "What Does Mine Say" and I wondered to myself, "Could you write a whole Ranma/Dude fusion?" So I started thinking about scenes, and this one stuck in my head and REFUSED to leave. I carried the idea around, and finally decided, "Fine, I'll write it." It was interesting to me how well it wrote itself out. It was a lot of fun to write, and I hope it's as fun to read.  
  
So review, please, and I can find out.  
  
Oh yeah. And read The Metal Cowboy's fanfiction. It's ALL good. 


End file.
